As I reflected on desiring to be a wife and mother, I noticed that the desire to be 'more' goes even further. I desire to be a better Child of God and strive to follow God's will for me each and everyday. I want to focus on my relationship with Christ and try to make it personal once again. Last year, I was blessed by the opportunity to attend Focus' SEEK2019 conference in Indianapolis, Indiana and one word kept coming up was beloved. I noticed something within my own heart as I spent time thinking about what it actually means to be the "beloved." I was not sure I understood it or truly believed it. I spent all of last year reflecting on how I am the 'beloved' and so much fruit came from my reflections. But first, what does beloved even mean? Throughout the Bible the word beloved is used to describe someone who is loved greatly by the Lord. What God revealed to me throughout last year was how loved I truly am.
Before I even arrived in Indianapolis, Christ was already working on my heart. When it came time for me to say goodbye for five days to my parents and leave, I just wanted to remain in my father's embrace forever. As I got in the car and drove away I remember tears rolling down my face. If you cannot tell, I do not do well with change. I was leaving for a huge conference, in a city I had never been to, 10 hrs from my parents. A couple days into the conference I sat in the adoration chapel and felt God the Father say to me that just as my father loves me abundantly, my Heavenly Father loves me even more. What a simple statement, but it left me in awe. I cannot even begin to understand the intensity of the Father's love for me.
During the summer I realized the biggest lie Satan was telling me was that I have to earn God's love. It was during this time that I experienced some of the dryest spells in my spiritual life. I felt like I was in this major spiritual battle. Jesus really showed me during this time how he loves me without conditions. I do not have to be volunteering constantly at church or feel like I am having the best day for Christ to love me. Whether you are having the best day ever or feel like your world is crashing down around you, God wants to enter into your heart and embrace you through it all. Just sit in the silence and give Him space to work in you.
Some practical tips for cultivating a personal relationship with Christ:
Pray everyday, even if for only 10 minutes
Make time for Adoration
Start journaling
Listen to podcasts (My favorite place to do this is in the car.)
Join a community! (such as Lux U, or if you attend Prince of Peace a connect group)
Get an accountability partner
I hope some part of this post corresponds to something you have experienced, and brings you peace or hope. Leave any questions or comments below!
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