I have felt for a while now that I am called to married life and motherhood. In middle school, around eighth grade while participating in Theology of the Body for Teens at Church, I prayed that God would reveal to me my vocation whether it be single life, married life, or religious life. Over time it was made clear that I was called to marriage and family life. That desire was placed on my heart several years ago and living with that desire has been a lot harder than I realized it would be.
The planner in me immediately felt relief. I was going to find the boy of my dreams, and live happily ever after eventually, at least that is what 14 year old Sierra believed. Little did I know that did not mean my dreams of marrying my high school sweet heart like in the movies would ever come true. If you have not noticed from your own life experience, life is not like the movies. High school was nothing like High School Musical.
I realized that dating is more of a commitment than our society makes it out to be. Dating is meant for you to find your future spouse. While I saw people I grew up with date guys, I was single and in our society that seemed almost unnatural. I wanted a relationship too. For the longest time I felt like I was missing out on what being a teenager in high school was all about. I had my fair share of crushes and looking back on high school I am glad none of them came to fruition. High school would have been a completely different experience if I had dated those guys. God has a different plan for me.
Looking back I can now see how my heart was ultimately being protected and still is today. My desire is not for some short term fling. As a old friend once told me and I continue to believe, my desire for marriage is intimidating and eventually a guy will come along that can respect that and jump on board. So if you are like me and you desire to be more, to be a wife and mother, just know that while you may have doubts, God is waiting and preparing your heart for a love story unlike you could ever imagine. Until then continue to focus on He who is love and further develop your relationship with Christ.
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